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Essay
Aiming
for Perfection
I abandoned the old me to make room for the
new and improved me. All that I once was I have sacrificed to
achieve perfection, and sometimes I don’t even recognize
myself any more. But I guess that is the price to pay when you
are aiming for perfection.
I find looking
back at my life revolting. I try not to think about my past,
cause it would try to crawl up and invade my present life and
influence my future. The past should stay in the past. I will
not allow it to contaminate what I have achieved. I left it
behind for a reason. But no matter how hard I try to ignore the
person I once was, I can never truly escape it.
Once I believed
in people. I believed that every single person was basically
good, till they started to show me other sides. Once I believed
that being yourself and being real was the way to live and would
always make you happy in the end, till I discovered that
happiness never knocked on my door. Once I believed in many
things, but luckily I had a revelation.
The past me was
naïve, immature and had a tendency to but other peoples needs
before its own. The present me is rude, inconsiderate and
extremely selfish. That is what it took to reach perfection.
That is the price for success. But was it worth it?
To achieve
perfection I had to leave that part of me in the past in order
for me to accomplish something greater in life. I am aiming high
and I intend to hit the bull’s-eye right in the middle.
Nothing less is sufficient. And in order to do so, I have to
say my farewells and good riddance to whom I once was. But am I
willing to sacrifice an important part of myself. And for what,
Perfection?
Maybe it was not
impossible to reach my goal as the person I was. If I had hold
on to past me. Perhaps it would have been harder with all of its
moral and ethic, which I abandon along with it, but maybe not
impossible. Along with leaving the weak side of me, I also left
the side of me that made me human. As much as I hate it, I have
realized that leaving yourself does not bring perfection. It
only creates an entire new person where there is nothing real
left.
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